If I Get Breast Implants Too Big Will I Tip Over?
Probably not. But, bigger is better, at least that is the American way of life. We drive big cars, we live in big houses, we eat supersized meals and we drink big gulps sitting in front of a big screen TV.
No wonder that in the country of excess large breasts are desired. But how large is too large? What size breaks the beauty threshold and tips one from being sexy to being freakish. Opinions are like noses. Everyone’s got one. Our ideas of attractiveness will diverge. But probably not a whole lot. Any French man that insists that the perfect size breast fits in a wine glass hasn’t been to Barney’s Beanery on Santa Monica Boulevard on a Sunday night.
And any American who argues that breasts can never be too big never had a loved one suffer from back pain and incessant eye-groping. But the French guy and the American guy can agree on two things: Perky is better than droopy. Size is more important than shape.
The Fashion of Breasts
Whatever your personal preference, beautiful breast own ideals go in and out of fashion as frequently as designer jeans. Remember in the 1920s, we admired the flat-chested flappers. Following this, we were mesmerized by pin-up dolls with women like Marilyn Monroe and Betty Paige. Then, just a couple decades later the 1980’s brought us back down to the flatlands where women like Farrah Fawcett, Brooke Shields, and Julia Roberts dominated magazine covers.
And just as quickly we found ourselves gawking at the TV when Baywatch aired in 1989. Big, perky, and in many cases “unnaturally” large breasts were now the new aesthetic ideal. The kind of breasts that don’t really bounce with waves of flesh when a 22 year old lifeguard named C.J. Parker sprints across the beach in slow motion to save a drowning child. Human Barbie Dolls took over the sexy ideal.
The perfect breasts continued to evolve over the next decade with no thanks to Darwin. In fact, one could even argue that enormous breasts were never really adaptive. Recall the 1974 movie, “Deadly Weapons”, where Chesty Morgan takes on the mob by smothering gangsters with her 73 inch bust. Big breasts could very well be a deadly trait.
Then, overnight, we would see the perfect breast change. In 1992 silicone was taken of the market by the FDA until further studies could prove its safety. For 14 years, plastic surgeons created gravity-defying breasts that made NASA look like an underfunded after school extracurricular program. Softer, more natural looking silicone implants were now unavailable. The actions of this moratorium on silicone breast implants generated a decade of abnormally round, firm breasts that would have forced Sir Isaac Newton to modify his law of universal gravitation with a saline breast implant coefficient:
This new era of artificially round, perky, and large led to the common mantra that still exists, “They are perfect they must be fake.” As if plastic surgeons figured it out better than God himself.
Silicone Makes a Return
Eventually, the moratorium on silicone was removed. And in 2006, we returned yet again to a new era of softer and prettier looking large breasts. Release of the moratorium gave silicone another chance, and it quickly took over the breast industry. Unlike its saline cousins, silicone obeys Newtonian physics in a more proper manner. And fact, it is not unusual to be fooled. The new generation silicone breast implants feel and behave very similar to breast tissue. And if you are one of the lucky ones who have an opportunity to use their tactile sensations to confirm my description, one may only be able to identify counterfeit chesticles by seeing a scar.
The average size breast implants in the United States is subject to geographical biases. Houston, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles probably win on the size scale. But for the most part, the ideal isn’t any larger than in was 10 years ago. In fact, many women who had gone supersized with saline are now downsizing with silicone. This trend will likely continue.
New Kids on the Block
The newest kids on the block are shaped, silicone breast implants. They are shaped like, you guessed it, a breast. However, these have not caught on yet due to two simple facts: One, the round silicone breast implants we have now are simply spectacular. And in women with small or large breasts, these new generation silicone breast implants maintain a very natural look and feel to their breasts.
Number two, they are idiot proof. This means, when they are placed in the breast pocket, they don’t need to be placed with any sophisticated orientation. If a round object rotates it doesn’t change the shape of the breast. However, because an anatomical shape breast possesses asymmetry from the upper and lower pole, rotation and this device will lead to an obvious visual deformity. Such problems are not only a cosmetic inconvenience, they necessitate further surgery.
The future of the beautiful breast for now will likely continue to favor big, but they still in the realm of possibly natural-looking. Silicone breast implants afforded plastic surgeons the ability to create C and D cups on very thin women while still raising doubts in the casual observer on the beach. Or bedroom, for that matter.